Few things evoke images of elegance, sophistication, and style like afternoon tea. Whether you’re attending a traditional English tea or a more modern gathering, knowing the basics of tea party style and etiquette will elevate your experience.
This guide will walk you through everything you need to know, from dress code to the subtleties of tea tradition, so that you can enjoy every moment.
Tea has been consumed across cultures for thousands of years. From Japanese tea ceremonies to the grandeur of Turkish hospitality, tea is a staple of style.
What we think of as the tea party dates back to the 17th century, when tea was introduced to England.
Originally a custom of the upper class, tea drinking became a widely fashionable social event during the 18th century.
Anna, the Duchess of Bedford, would popularize the custom of “afternoon tea” in the early 1800s – to fill the long gap between lunch and dinner.
In our community, teas have become a signature event for social occasions from sorority mixers to political fundraisers. A well-heeled sister should be prepared to attend at least a few each season.
Teas have endured because they offer a combination of social interaction, relaxation, and indulgence that isn’t often found elsewhere in our frenetic modern lives.
Afternoon Tea at the Lobby, The Peninsula Hotel | Image courtesy of the brand.
Afternoon tea, also known as “low tea,” is usually served between 3:30 and 5 PM and includes a variety of finger sandwiches, scones with clotted cream, jam, and pastries.
If you’ve ever associated tea parties with cucumber sandwiches, this is the tea service you’re thinking of. It is a light, elegant affair.
High tea, which is named for the food offered rather than its formality, is a more substantial meal than afternoon tea. It was traditionally enjoyed by workers as a hearty evening meal to tide them over.
Served later in the day, high tea includes heavier dishes like savory pies, casseroles, beans, and bread, in addition to tea and sweets.
Cream tea is a delightful tea service that typically includes scones served with Devonshire (clotted) cream and jam. It is most common in the West Country area of England, particularly Cornwall and Devon.
Cream tea is often enjoyed as an afternoon snack and has been adopted by cafes around the world.
Royal tea is a more luxurious version of afternoon tea, distinguished by the addition of champagne or another sparkling wine. This adds an element of celebration and sophistication to the traditional tea service, and has become popular for special occasions and high-end establishments.
Preparation for tea should be done with the same care as any other fine social affair. Your choice of clothing and command of etiquette will make you right at home, no matter which style of tea you’re attending.
When accepting a formal invitation to tea, promptness matters. Thank the host for the invitation and confirm your attendance. If you cannot attend, thank your host and express your regrets.
One of the first things to consider when attending a tea party is what to wear. The dress code will vary depending on the formality of the event, and the host will include details about the dress code. Here are some general tips that will serve you well:
Accessories can make or break your outfit, so choose them wisely.
Pouring tea might seem straightforward, but there’s a certain finesse to it. If the host pours the tea, thank them when they fill your cup. If you’re pouring, remember these tips:
This age-old debate continues, but either way, the key is to know the preferences of your fellow guests. If unsure, ask politely, “Would you like milk or sugar?” Traditionally, if you’re adding milk, pour it after the tea to better judge the strength of the brew.
Believe it or not, there’s a proper way to stir and sip your tea.
A tea party isn’t complete without an assortment of treats. Here’s how to enjoy them properly:
Starting a conversation at a tea party can be daunting, but with a few tips, you can navigate this social aspect with ease.
Tea parties are about enjoyment and light-hearted conversation, so there are certain topics best left out:
Attending a tea party can be a delightful experience if you approach it with the right mindset & preparation. The key is to relax and enjoy the moment. After all, tea parties are as much about the company as they are about the tea.
Happy sipping!
A: If you find yourself running late, inform the host as soon as possible. Upon arrival, apologize briefly and quickly take your seat.
A: Hold the teacup by the handle, with your pinkie finger gently curved inward rather than sticking out. This provides a secure grip and looks elegant.
A: If the host offers a selection, feel free to choose your preference. However, if only one type is served, graciously accept it.
A: Always check with the host beforehand. Bringing an unannounced guest can disrupt events arrangements.
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