We Came Together, We Leave Together: A Black Girl's Guide to Surviving a Girls' Trip | Bon Vie Magazine

How a Girls’ Trip to Cabo Sparked a Very Necessary Conversation about Finances and Friendship

Unless you’ve been under a social media rock, you’ve seen the recent bombardment of posts about the #cabogirlstrip. As the story goes, a group of young women set off for the idyllic destination to celebrate the birthday of a girl in their friend group.

The saga of Kaleah Denise, Nutella, and Nunu has kept the internet ablaze over the past several days.

Despite the best intentions, the trip got off to a rocky start due to financial disagreements  between a few girls who didn’t know each other well.

It seems it was all downhill from there.

The posts began spreading like wildfire before the trip even ended and the frenzy only grew after the crew returned and more girls added their perspective.

Even though it’s been reported that much of the original story was…unreliable at best, the incident has inspired conversation across the web about finances, expectations, and the bonds of friendship on girls’ trips.

If you’re planning a girls’ trip and you prefer fun in the sun to fussing over finances, here are a few tips to ensure your friend group comes back intact.

Keep the group tight.

If you have a wide circle of friends, it’s natural to want to introduce them and hope everyone hits it off. A girls’ trip is not the place for said intros. The best travel partners are those who know each other well in advance, get along, and understand each other’s lifestyles and travel tastes.

No one wants to be stuck with a girl she doesn’t vibe with for a week.

Stick to this rule: No new friends on girls’ trips.

Ladies, leave your man at home. 

This should go without saying, but it’s called a girls’ trip for a reason – no boys (or baes) allowed. If your bestie can’t stand to be separated from her new boo – physically or virtually – this isn’t the trip for her. Partners (of either gender) should not be included on a girls’ trip.

The presence of a couple will ruin the dynamic of the group, and often puts a damper on excursions and activities. Sweethearts are for couples’ trips only.

Travel in your tax bracket. 

Social media has conditioned us to think that every black girls’ trip is a luxury getaway where the girls cash out like Griselda Blanco. That simply isn’t the case.

Communicating the style of trip (luxury, mid-range, budget-friendly, etc.) and an estimated budget is key to a friction-free girls’ trip. Let your friends decide how much they can splash out to be included in the fun. If someone can’t tag along on the baller trips, don’t make them feel shame for it, either.

Talk travel styles before you take off. 

If you and your crew have decided this girls’ trip is worth the trouble, your group chat should be humming. More important than what getaway outfits you’re packing is clear communication about your group’s preferred travel styles.

People view vacations differently. Some want to spend all day relaxing with a cocktail by the pool. Others want to mix it up with the locals and see all the hottest sights. Some love a packed itinerary. Others hate it.


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Do you know your girls?

The quickest way to ruin what could be a fabulous girls’ getaway is mismatched travel expectations. Before you book anything, talk it out.

Communicate the potential plans and activities in advance. Allow your friends to decide if the itinerary and style of travel is a fit for them.

If some girls decide the itinerary isn’t their style, but they choose to come hang out anyway, be graceful with those who skip a few excursions. Your group will thank you for it.

We came together; we leave together. 

Every Black girl who’s ever spent a night out with her crew knows this adage. For the sake of safety and camaraderie, it goes back as far as time.

The same applies when traveling away from home.

No matter how wild, heated, or frustrated the group gets, you need to stick together and look out for one another. When you’re in an unfamiliar place far from home, your girls are all you’ve got.

Never let petty squabbles put any of your friends in harm’s way.

Even if you discover that the relationship is no longer viable after the trip, your number one priority must be that the entire group make it home safely.

We’ve seen and heard too many stories of vibrant, young Black women who travel together and someone doesn’t make it back. Don’t let that be you – or anyone you know.

Whatever the issue, your safety matters more.

Do your best. Don’t stress the rest. 

No matter your intentions, sometimes girls’ trips don’t go to plan. Social media is littered with horror stories of broken friendships and travel misunderstandings.

Even though you may not be able to avoid every mishap on your next girls’ adventure, these tips will help you and your crew get along and – hopefully – make it home unscathed.

If not, just try to keep it off social media.

Cheers to a summer of fun and memories – without the frustration.

 


Have you ever survived a girls’ trip gone wrong? Give us your tips in the comments!

 

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